Ask the Mediatrician

How should I manage media use with kids of different ages?

Q: My kids are four years apart (ages 8 and 12), and I’m not sure how to manage their media use since their needs are so different. Should my oldest watch only programs that are appropriate for the younger child?
Stuck in the Middle with Two in Old Bethpage, NY

A:  Dear Stuck in the Middle with Two,

This is a tricky situation for many parents. The short answer first: If your differently aged children are using media together, then yes, make sure that the media is appropriate for the younger child. This advice may pose a challenge, but I assure you that following it is both important and possible.

Now for the long answer. Why is it so important? Because when children are exposed to content that is not appropriate for them—such as adult sexual situations—at the very least they will feel insecure and unsure of what’s going on. As parents, I think many of us want to believe that if kids don’t understand the content, it will just go over their heads. But in reality children have a tremendous desire to feel more mature than they are, and they don’t want to feel left out of what everyone else understands.  They often find a way to understand, and may get misinformation from peers and other sources rather than talking to you directly.   

Since your oldest will likely want to watch programs that might not be appropriate for the younger child, make sure that happens when the younger sibling is asleep or not around. I recommend using a VCR or DVR to record programs appropriate for both kids. Then, when it’s time to use media, you can decide who can see which programs.

If your children do want to use media together, make sure that the media are appropriate for the younger child and that they will both enjoy it. You can watch the material yourself before they do, or you can poke around on Common Sense Media, where parents and experts rate all kinds of programs and describe what they are like.  It might take a bit of looking around, but there are plenty of options that can be fun—and appropriate—for everyone.

Enjoy your media and use them wisely,
The Mediatrician

How do I deal with inappropriate commercials during sports television?

Q: Recently, my children started singing the jingle from a commercial for an erectile dysfunction drug. I was shocked. Then I remembered that we had seen the ad during a sports game on TV, and that I had thought it had gone over their heads. What should I do?
Shocked About the Singing in New York, NY

A: Dear Shocked About the Singing,

Yes, I suspect that that particular advertising jingle has a different effect than “My baloney has a first name.” Especially if you are not the only one listening! And even if it’s only you who hears your kids singing about such topics, the question is really what effect these ads have on them.

As your experience and our research both demonstrate, kids absorb a lot more from advertising than we think they do. And unfortunately, there are many commercials that are inappropriate for children aired during televised sports and other live broadcast events, which makes them more difficult to avoid. So, we as parents need to be prepared.

I would recommend a few different approaches, depending on the ages of your children. First, if you are able to watch an event at a later time, use a VCR, TiVo or DVR and skip over the ads. If your kids are young, mute the commercials and, if possible, give them something else to do during that time. With older children, discuss the ads. Ask them questions about what they think the ad is for, the methods it uses to sell a product to them, and what other messages the ad may contain that you may or may not want your children to absorb. Such questions and conversation can help teach your kids to be critical users of media.

Remember that all media are educational, and this is another opportunity for you to help guide your children’s learning.

Enjoy your media and use them wisely,
The Mediatrician