Ask the Mediatrician

The Mediatrician’s New Year’s Resolutions for 2011

Q: This year, I want to start making some better choices about media so I can better connect with my family. I usually hate resolutions—because who ever keeps them, really?—but am wondering what I might consider when deciding what and how to change.
- Determined for 2011 in Eden Prairie, MN

A: Dear Determined,

I’m with you. I don’t usually make New Year’s resolutions—they’re often idealistic and unrealistic and, thus, abandoned by mid-January. But this year, to create some that I could live with, I decided that my resolutions should adhere to three basic criteria: 

1) They cost basically nothing, so that there’s no financial barrier to achieving them.

2) They are worth keeping for their own sake, and because the process of keeping them is worthwhile. Perfection is not the goal—tweaking your family’s media use and enjoy the resulting time together is.

3) They’re fun!

The following are resolutions that I can and will try to follow throughout the year, and I welcome you to join me: 

Share media you love with your kids
What movies, songs, and books did you love at your child’s age? Share and talk about them with your kids. Then ask your kids to share their favorite media with you. Whether they teach you to play a video game or make a Facebook page, they’ll love getting to show their mastery, and you’ll get a window into their media worlds. Enjoying these shared experiences is also a fun way to bring media use into the realm of positive (as opposed to policing) parenting.

Make mindful choices
How many times do you find yourself or your kids turning on the TV, computer, or video game console out of habit? Or because you or they can’t think of anything else to do? As a New Year’s Resolution, transform media use into a purposeful choice. Watch a certain show or play a certain game, and then switch to another activity you enjoy. This will help your family use technology as the powerful tool it can be for learning, connecting, and entertaining rather than simply as a diversion.

Move screens into common rooms
When media use is confined to a shared space, it becomes a social rather than a solo act and must compete with the other demands of family life. This makes it easier to engage with media only when there is a focused reason to do so. It also gives parents greater access to what children are doing with media, and it gives children a way to understand (and accept) their parents’ responsibilities in overseeing their media use.

Create media together
Shoot video of your family, edit it, upload it to YouTube, and share the link with friends and family. Or build a website or blog about a favorite cause. Such activities emphasize that kids can not only receive but also create media. They also model how media can be used in public dialogue and true participatory democracy—concepts that kids may not understand now but can learn about over time. Instead of worrying that media are making us less individually and socially responsible, model ways in which media can make us more involved in life, each other, and our society.

Upgrade your interactions with others
Social media can be a wonderful addition to the host of ways you connect with people who live far away or with whom you’ve lost touch. They can help you locate folks and provide a way to connect as frequently as you’d like at your convenience (e.g., if you’re around the world from each other, you can be in regular communication despite the time difference). However, if communication with a given person remains exclusively virtual, you miss out on nuance and warmth that a voice provides. To regain some of these other aspects of human connection between in-person visits (or when visiting isn’t feasible), call a faraway friend on the phone. Or use email or texting as ways of arranging in-person gatherings. In this way, media can serve as tools for developing and nurturing true relationships. 

Share media-free family meals
Research shows that sitting down and sharing food protects kids against becoming overweight, as well as from a host of health risk behaviors, from anxiety and depression to early sexual activity to violence. The mealtime opportunity to share experiences and thoughts with those you love and trust is powerful prevention. But remember to keep the tube off: Having the TV on during that meal distracts you from each other and from your body’s signals of hunger and satiety, thus neutralizing the potential positive effects

Touch nature and let it touch you
Research shows that spending time with nature reduces anxiety, improves attention deficits, and contributes to free play and imagination. So turn off the TV, computer, and video games and take a family walk. Or grow a plant from a seed, and let everyone get dirt under their fingernails. Just be together, outside and unwired.

Unplug to bring back daydreaming
We parents so often focus on giving our children the best advantages we can: schools, lessons, sports, and media, all intended to help them learn and expand their minds. But no directed activity can take the place of daydreaming, free play, and even boredom, which is when we can let our thoughts wander and then be regrouped in new and unexpected configurations. This is when kids engage their creativity, develop a sense of self, and learn to reflect on what is important to them. All the knowledge in the world cannot compare with the ability to think deeply about it, and then imagine and create something better. Let’s give kids this crucial space.

Enjoy your media and use them wisely—and happy new year!
The Mediatrician®

The Good News about Children and Media in 2010

Q: It seems like all we ever hear about are the negative effects of media. What research has been done on using media in positive ways?
- Feeling Bleak in Boston, MA

A: Dear Bleak,

We’re so glad you asked! Indeed, studies in the past year indicate just how positive media can be for children and families when it is used in a controlled way, paying particular attention to its content and the context in which it is used. 

Here are some 2010 good-news highlights and the scientific studies they are based on:

1) Technology is aiding schools, providing educators with more interactive tools for teaching and giving students more opportunities to engage with classroom learning at home and beyond.

2) Children’s TV programming can have profound positive effects on child literacy, identity, and overall well-being, here and abroad.

3) While violent video games have been shown to incite viewers’ aggression, prosocial video games can have positive effects on children’s social behaviors. 

4) Active video games can increase physical activity in children—though these shouldn’t exceed time spent playing sports, playing actively outdoors, etc.

5) Community-based initiatives can have significant positive effects on educating kids about the importance of physical activity and how it contributes to fighting childhood obesity.

6) Media literacy programs for kids can work to educate them about making healthy lifelong decisions—about media and so much more.

Learn more about the studies behind these findings in the CMCH blog.

Enjoy your media and use them wisely,
The Mediatrician®

The Top Mediatrician Q&As of 2010

Each week this year, you asked our Mediatrician, Dr. Michael Rich, your most pressing questions about the effects of media on kids, and he answered! 

Here are the top 10 most-viewed Ask the Mediatrician Q&As of 2010:

1. What are some good kids’ movies for my 5 year old to enjoy?

2. How do Facebook and Twitter affect social skills?

3. Which computer games are good for my 2 year old?

4. Will video games cause seizures in my children?

5. How do swear words factor in to a movie's MPAA rating?

6. Do you have any tips on good gifts for kids?

7. How will TV affect our 3-month-old?

8. Should I give my 11 year old the cell phone she wants?

9. A response to the controversy over how Call of Duty impacts teen boys

10. What goes on in the brain during a 3D movie?

Do YOU have a question about children and media? Submit your question by sending an email to cmch@childrens.harvard.edu

Should kids with central auditory processing disorder play video games?

Q: We believe that we need to have our child tested for central auditory processing disorder. We homeschool, and even though the signs were there, we misread them (as do many other parents). We would like to make any adjustments in our home that we can or need to make to help our son. Is there any correlation between this condition and video games that I should be aware of? Should we limit our child’s time spent playing video games?
- Concerned in Norwalk, CT

A: Dear Concerned,

A central auditory processing disorder (APD) is a problem with understanding or decoding what is heard. It can occur in children with normal hearing and cognitive abilities or in kids with a variety of learning disabilities or developmental delays. Because it can vary in severity and look different in different kids, APD can easily be missed or mistaken for other issues, ranging from attention deficit disorder to behavioral problems to hearing impairment. APD is often only noticed when the child faces educational demands and has academic or behavioral difficulties. It is wonderful that you have noticed your son’s issues and are seeking professional help in sorting them out. 

The cause of APD is unknown, but our best understanding at present is that it is something a child is born with rather than something that they develop. In other words, video games or other environmental influences are not to blame for causing APD. Auditory processing is a complex task: Out of the noise of a typical classroom, for example, a child must distinguish the teacher’s voice, comprehend the words that teacher is saying, and synthesize the message in those words in order to respond appropriately. However, a child with APD has difficulty isolating the critical communication from the whole of what he hears. 

To understand how this feels, imagine taking a tape recorder into a lunchroom, picking out a conversation, and listening to it while recording from where you stand. You might be able to hear and understand the conversation clearly in person, but when you played back the recording later you would likely find that you couldn’t distinguish the conversation from the crowd noise. Like the microphone, the child with APD hears everything fine, but cannot resolve and respond to the important sounds of communication. Understandably, many treatments for APD try to focus on communicating critical information by simplifying a child’s audio environment, either by reducing background noise or by using electronic devices that transmit the teacher’s words to the child wearing headphones, much like a football coach communicates to his quarterback’s headset.

Since extraneous noise is distracting to a child with APD, one might think that a video game could be problematic. However, because everything in the game, including the audio, is designed to propel the game’s action forward, even the loud, seemingly chaotic sounds of some video games are actually easier for kids with APD to process than the confusing mix of ambient noises that they hear every day. Many children with APD and other learning or developmental disabilities are attracted to, and very successful in, video game environments because they are limited in scope, they focus on specific repetitive tasks, and they allow players to progress at their own speed. 

However, this comfort with video games (coupled with a lesser ability to process the chaotic outer world) may result in children with APD spending more time gaming than other children—and they may be more susceptible to learning the content of the game, whether it be building a better city, racing a car, or killing zombies. That said video games can be a powerful teaching technology, even with kids who are less vulnerable than those with APD. The sort of auditory training and language-building skills that speech pathologists use to help those with APD improve their function can be adapted to an interactive electronic environment. Although I cannot speak to their quality, there are several software packages that seek to help children with APD by leveraging their engagement with media and using the capabilities of electronic environments to create a set of conditions and challenges, reward success, allow “redos” of failures, and rehearse behaviors of any kind again and again. (Discuss potential brands and uses with your child’s doctor.)

Indeed, your son may not be hurt by video game play and may, in fact, experience real accomplishment and mastery through them, a valuable gift to a child who may be struggling and feel inadequate in other realms. Consider these usage tips:

• Choose games that depict content and behaviors you wish your son to learn, because learn them he will. (See this prior Q&A about APD and violent video games.)
• Opt for games whose audio does not over-stimulate or confuse him.
• Limit his game-playing to no more than an hour at most throughout the day, so that he has the time and energy for the more challenging negotiation of the outside world.
• Observe him while he plays. If he gets upset or anxious, it is time to stop. But odds are that he might appear calmer and more in control of a video games than he is in the “offline” or real world.

Enjoy your media and use them wisely,
The Mediatrician® 

Are Facebook age limits appropriate? And when should schools intervene?

Q: In response to some pretty nasty commentary and bullying (and slander of teachers, etc.) on Facebook, my son’s private middle school decided to insist on a no-FB policy. The administration was somewhat heavy-handed, asking the 10 and 11 year olds for their passwords and deleting their Facebook accounts. Nevertheless, they felt they were doing the right thing, given that so much of the bullying was specific to kids within the school. 

In hindsight, I think that the administration should have discussed their plans with students’ parents first: For those who do actually use Facebook responsibly, I feel there is no reason why they can’t access it with their parents in a shared capacity. But as this is a private school, the staff has the right to make whatever decision they wish when their values and their students and teachers are being harassed or bullied, right? What do you think? 
- Perplexed Parent in Melbourne, Australia

A: Dear Perplexed:

I think there are actually two questions here: whether the school handled the situation appropriately and whether 10 and 11 year olds should be on Facebook. Like the rest of us, schools are in the process of figuring out how to manage these emerging online environments. However, it does sound like this particular approach was rather clumsy and inappropriately authoritarian. Instead of creating a safer environment, it annoyed people and pitted families against the system. Another approach would have been to review some of the resources that are being developed to offer support around such issues, which can offer guidance on how to intervene with the affected students and engage the community in determining how to proceed.

Research has more to say in regards to the question about whether kids this young should be on Facebook. Scientific knowledge about brain development implies that Facebook's minimum user age of 13 is, if anything, a little low. A tween’s brain simply hasn’t developed enough yet to really understand and carry out the tenets of cybersafety because the pre-frontal cortex—the area in the brain crucial for impulse control, future thinking, and what Freud called “superego” or conscience—doesn’t fully develop until a person’s mid- to late 20s. 

Therefore, although many parents believe that their own children are smarter than the average bear and can handle cybersafety as early as middle school, neurodevelopment occurs in predictable patterns and timeframes, and no 13 year old is there yet. Developing the skills necessary to be a responsible cybercitizen is not a matter of intelligence or experience—it’s a concrete fact of nature. 

In general, then, I do not recommend that parents start kids on Facebook before the official minimum age, and I often urge them to delay until their child is much older and can make good, accountable decisions for themselves. At that point, parents should ensure that there is no Facebooking (yes, it’s a verb now) until all kids have completed the essential tasks of daily life—like homework, physical activity (preferably outdoors), a sit-down meal with the family, and adequate sleep. Even then, it’s up to parents to set a time limit, because FB can be a huge time-sink, even for those of us with fully developed brains.

Related Mediatrician Q&As:

• My daughter is being bullied on Facebook; what can I do?
• How can I keep my teens safe on the Internet?
• How do Facebook and Twitter affect social skills?

Enjoy your media and use them wisely,
The Mediatrician®

Is the Kindle OK for tweens?

Q: Our soon-to-be 12 year old (born on Christmas Eve) loves to read and dearly wants a Kindle. He does NOT have a cell phone, iPad etc.; he does have a MacBook Pro at home with limited and tightly controlled use. Since we are so strict with other electronics, we were hoping to get him something that was "techie" but safe. Please advise us!
- Tech-Skeptic Mom in Boise, ID

A: Dear Mom,

E-readers can be wonderful for tweens and kids of all ages (though pre-readers and early readers require colorful images and so devices with full-color screens—or physical books—are preferable for them over the more available black-and-white screens). I bought a first-generation e-reader myself, admittedly with more than a little trepidation: I love books, not only for what can be found inside them, but for the feeling and even smell of them. But I was very quickly won over by how much reading on one of these devices is like reading a book. And it lets readers do many things books can’t: bookmark and annotate without marring pages, change the font size for easier reading, and, most importantly, store hundreds of books, magazines, and newspapers on a device that it lighter than a typical paperback. Especially when I travel, I carry my e-reader—this may be ideal for your son, as well.

It sounds like your concern is that giving him this device will be adding another form of screen media to your child’s life. But whereas videos in any form (on a TV, computer, or tablet screen) invite the viewer into the video maker’s pre-created world, which is less demanding, imaginative, and personal than engaging with books, e-books are still books—even though they’re presented on screen. Just as with ink and paper books, e-readers let the author’s words be transformed through the reader’s individual imaginations, life experiences, and aspirations into a shared vision. 

If you do get your son an e-reader, my only cautionary advice would be to set parameters around how frequently he can buy books: The process is almost too easy, as all he needs to do is switch the e-reader on, wirelessly choose among thousands of titles, and have them instantly downloaded to his device. Also, why not consider getting an e-reader for yourself, sharing books with your son, and discussing them over dinner together? Whatever media interest your son, they are best used in a focused way, with additional time allowed for outdoor physical activity, family, homework, and sleep.

Enjoy your media and use them wisely,
The Mediatrician®

Video Games: How much time is too much?

Q: What do you make of a 15-year-old high school freshman who gets straight A’s, does all his homework, has a 3-hour internship per week teaching little ones to sing, swims on the swim team, AND plays Call of Duty 15-20 hours per week? Do you think that is too much time spent on video games, or is this a good use of his downtime? How much game playing is too much? 

A: Your son admirably seems to be balancing schoolwork, personal interests, and physical activity with the amount of gaming he’s doing—and it sounds like he isn’t making unhealthy choices in order to maintain his gaming habit. (Pathological video gaming, sometimes called addiction, is a major problem in China and Korea, where millions of young people need psychiatric care and even inpatient hospitalization to address this issue, and the government is creating legislation to limit the hours teens can be online.)

Science shows that some video gaming isn’t necessarily problematic for kids. It can even benefit players by helping improve overall vision and visual acuity, foster healthy online interactions, and (in certain games) get players up and moving. The key is to ensure that gaming doesn’t get in the way of the other important activities of life—like family meals and sleep. During adolescence, teens undergo the second most rapid and profound developmental spurt of their lives (aside from infancy). Research indicates that unless they get 9.5 to 11 hours of sleep nightly, they are in a constant state of sleep deprivation—which may contribute to lovely morning moods, naps during class, and post-noon wake-ups on weekends. 

Once homework, healthy meals, and sufficient sleep are achieved in a given day, your son likely won’t have time for the maximum of two hours of screen time per day that the AAP recommends for kids age 2 and older. If he does still wish to spend some time gaming, talking with him about what he plays can help him think critically about the content. (Although the violence portrayed in Call of Duty is certainly an issue to consider, your question seems more focused on the amount of time he spends playing them. Read these other Q&As about how “first-person shooter” experiences affect teen gamers, and what’s at risk when even well-rounded kids, like your son, regularly play violent, multiplayer games.) 

Finally, although video gaming is certainly entertaining, it doesn’t really serve as “downtime.” Brainmapping research shows that during the time when our minds are wandering in between directed tasks—like playing a video game or doing homework—a large network lights up. That network appears to be the area responsible for creativity and, possibly, for our sense of self. So kids and adults may need unplugged downtime, in the form of daydreaming without constant stimuli, in order to nurture our creativity and to reflect, which in turn may nurture our selfhood and psychological well-being. 

Enjoy your media and use them wisely,
The Mediatrician®

 

How can I tactfully ask our family not to give my kids character toys?

Q: I don't want to seem ungrateful, and I know my children would probably like the Dora or Batman version of toys, but I just find that sort of commercialism unnecessary. How can I tell my family that we'd prefer they not get the character versions of toys when giving my kids gifts?
- Particular about Presents in Ypsilanti, MI

A: Dear Particular,

What a great question to consider this holiday season. Cross-merchandised products encourage kids to see whatever movie or TV show they represent—even if it’s not appropriate for their age or stage of development. Plus, character toys often dictate how kids play with them: They encourage kids to act out the stories they know from the show or film rather than asking them to exercise their imaginations. This undermines the incredible value of open-ended free play. 

So what to say to your family? First, know that they’ll likely appreciate any insight you can offer as to what to buy your child. (Holiday shopping can be stressful for even seasoned relatives, no matter how many gifts they’ve given in the past!) Provide them with suggestions as to what your unique child really wants: Opt for toys that encourage creative, imagination-fueled play and independent and collaborative learning. Books, board games, art sets, instruments—these are just a few great potential presents for kids of all ages. (Read on for more media and non-media gift-giving tips.)

Also, it’s absolutely OK to tell your family directly that you’d prefer they not get the character versions of whatever toy they choose, even if they know your child is a fan of the show or movie. You can relay to them how important it is to you that your child make up her own stories instead of having her playtime scripted by pre-digested plotlines—or you can opt for whatever version of “Please choose non-character toys that expand our child’s mind” that works for you. 

However you make the message clear, remember to model these concepts yourself when choosing toys for cousins, nieces, and nephews: Think of your gift as an investment in that child’s future brain, and make your investment wisely.

Related Resource: The Guide to Commercial-Free Holidays

Enjoy your media and use them wisely,
The Mediatrician® 

Do you have any tips on good gifts for kids?

Q: Help! I’m shopping for kids of all ages this year for the holidays, and don’t know where to begin. What are your thoughts about the kinds of toys that are good for kids?
- Wrapped Up in Gifts in Ames, IA

 

A: Dear Wrapped Up,

Become your gift recipients’ holiday hero by keeping this word in mind: CHILD.

Creative: Think creatively about who the child is and what makes him or her truly happy. 

Homework: Do your homework on the nature, content, and age-appropriateness of gifts, especially media products, before buying.

Imagination: Provide a child’s growing mind with gifts to stimulate her imagination, creative growth, and development.

Learning: Look for gifts that encourage problem-solving, creativity, and positive social interaction.

Donate: Give the gift of giving.

(Read all of our tips on choosing great holiday gifts!)

Did the kids in your life provide wishlists? Check out our recent science-based advice on the following toys, games, and media. 

Does your recipient want…

A cell phone?

• Should I give my 11 year old the cell phone she's asking for?
• How much texting is too much?
• Do cell phones affect kids’ sleep?
  More cell phone Q&As >>

Video games?

• How does Call of Duty impact teen boys?
• My whole family enjoys Guitar Hero, but I’m concerned about the lyrics!
• Which computer games are good for my 2 year old?
  More video game Q&As >> 

Questionable toys?

• My kids are asking for toy weapons; what should I do?
• How can I ask my family to forgo character toys?
• Are American Girl dolls a better choice for my niece than the more sexualized Barbies or Bratz?
  More toy Q&As related to gender and violence >>

Laptops, MP3 players, etc?

• Should I encourage my preschooler to use the computer?
• Are kids benefiting from all these electronics?
• Is there anything wrong with cutting out electronic media completely?
  More computers & electronics Q&As >>

Books or magazines?

• Are audiobooks a good use of kids' time?
• Could vampire fiction be contributing to my daughter's anxiety?
• Do models in ads affect how girls feel about their own bodies?
  More book & magazine Q&As >> 

Movies or videos?

• Which kids’ movies will my 5 year old enjoy?
• What goes on in the brain during a 3D film?
• Can toddlers learn sign language by watching DVDs?
  More TV, movie, & video Q&As >>

New tunes?

• Help! We don’t approve of the music our child wants to listen to!
• Does playing the blues cause the blues?
• How should I explain that my kid’s favorite pop star is having emotional issues?
  More music Q&As >>

Enjoy your media and use them wisely,
The Mediatrician® 

What do kids learn from TV shows, like 'Pingu', that don’t have dialogue?

Q: Recently I noticed a friend's 3-year-old daughter laughing hysterically as she watched a claymation program called Pingu. It seems like a pretty basic kids’ program with cute animals, but what struck me as unique was that the only dialogue featured on the show is gibberish. The characters “talk” to each other, but not in any decipherable language. Still, despite the lack of a scripted dialogue, my friend’s kid was cracking up laughing as she watched, leading me to believe that she’s crafting her own script in her mind as she watches. Could this be what's happening?
-Perplexed by Pingu in Cambridge, MA

 

A:  Dear Perplexed:

I agree with the 3-year-old: Pingu is delightful—and its formula has a time-honored feel to it. Remember, motion pictures were silent for their first 4 decades. They told their stories visually, using live music to set the dramatic tone and some well-timed sound effects for pacing, emphasis, and—BOING!—laughs. Similarly, the inflected vocalizations made by characters in Pingu create an emotional storyline that requires no words: surprise, excitement, disappointment, delight. Many of these basic feelings are familiar even to kids who’ve yet to utter their first words. And, as you say, a big part of the fun for the child is decoding the images and creating his or her personal story. 

Teletubbies caught flak from child advocates several years ago—not for being non-verbal, but for being verbal in a developmentally problematic way. The show’s toddler viewers heard endearingly cute baby talk, like “eh-oh” for “hello”, at stages of their language development when it was crucial for them to hear effective language modeled. Young children who watch educational DVDs or videos can have poorer language development than kids who don’t, so the baby-talking Teletubbies only exacerbated a known problem with screen exposure early in life. Although Pingu isn’t modeling correct language, its vocalizations are not approximating language in the way that Teletubbies does, and thus is less likely to mislead young viewers.

In addition, Pingu has other cognitive merits: It teaches kids how to decipher a visual story; to respond to it in their own imaginative, creative ways; and, ultimately, to sharpen their skills for mastering media by using them critically. (Reading does this, too: This Q&A breaks down the benefits of listening to audiobooks vs. reading books vs. watching screen media.) What we know about educational TV is that the more interaction it demands of kids, the better it is at teaching them. When Dora or Blue ask viewers to shout out their names or spot things onscreen that the characters don’t see, children’s learning from those programs increases dramatically. 

So when it comes to choosing the best shows for children, opt for those that engage their senses of sight and hearing and challenge their imaginations and problem-solving skills. Such engagement can mean that they get more out of the short-term viewing experience and build their competence and skills in using media effectively for a lifetime.

Enjoy your media and use them wisely,
The Mediatrician®