Ask the Mediatrician

Is it OK that my toddler doesn't like TV?

From January 2 through February 16, the Mediatrician will be discussing families' concerns about media and kids at Parents.com. Here's a recent question and answer: 

Q: I have a 26 month old daughter, and up until she turned two I never really let her watch TV. I don't really mind as much now that she is getting older, but now she shows no interest in it what so ever. She does not have any patience or interest to sit and watch a TV show. I am fine with this, but friends of mine think that it is INSANE that she does not watch TV. Is this normal for kids who did not watch TV when they were younger or should I be worried that she has an attention problem or some sort? Is it ok that she is not watching TV? She is very smart and on track developmentally, I just don't get why everyone is getting on me because she does not watch TV! Thanks for any insight you might have!
- zenbaby at Parents.com 

A: I must admit that hearing your concern is sort of like hearing the perfectly toned athlete complain that she can’t gain weight, not matter how hard she tries. Many parents would be delighted to have your “problem.” That said, the scientific research we have to date supports your decision not to put her in front of an electronic screen until she was two.

Although there are still only a limited number of good studies on the effects of screen media on children under 2, what there is indicates that: 1) children cannot consistently learn anything of value from a screen until about 30 months of age and 2) early screen use has been associated in with increased risk of overweight, behavioral and attention problems later in life. Parenting choices are invariably a risk-benefit analysis - is the potential risk outweighed by the benefit to be realized? Research done at CMCH has demonstrated that while early screen use may not be actively harmful, the fact that there is little demonstrable benefit to outweigh potential problems makes your decision the reasonable one.  (See the Ask the Mediatrician discussion of this here.)

 

As far as why your daughter is not interested in TV now, it is likely because she is choosing between TV and other activities, like imaginative play, physical activity, or books. Because she has not been taught to watch TV, she sees it as a less interesting alternative, which is likely a sign of how smart and developmentally on track she is. For a child whose growing brain has been stimulated by interaction with other people, manipulating her physical environment, and creative, problem-solving play, electronic screens are a relatively impoverished environment. She is just not interested, and for good reason.

Your friends think your situation is insane because many parents use the TV as an electronic babysitter, educator, or soother for their children. Several have asked The Mediatrician how they can wean their child off the screen.Your daughter has already figured out how to play independently, to learn, and to self-soothe. Brava, zenbaby!

Enjoy your media and use them wisely,
The Mediatrician®

Can I protect my kids’ media use at school? On the bus?

Q: How do I protect my children against what I consider to be harmful media when they are at school or on the bus? Older boys are sharing content that we disapprove of (like Star Wars, Spongebob, etc.) with my 6 year old on their MP3 and portable video players. As you know, these devices are capable of downloading very ugly content—including pornography and sadistic M-rated video games—even on the way to class. No one seems to care about this. What should I do?
- Concerned About School Commutes in Lincoln, NE

A: Dear Concerned:

If this is a concern to you, it’s likely that lots of other families feel similarly helpless. Even if these older boys aren’t friends with your child, I would start by asking your child’s friends’ parents about their feelings about media use on the way to school, whether this problem is arising for them, and how they’re attempting to curtail their kids’ exposure to violent or sexual content. This can help you get a sense of the scale of this issue.

If you know which kids are responsible and are able to contact their families, ask what kind of personal media devices their kids carry and how they regulate what goes on those devices. It’s possible that they don’t know what their kids have downloaded and are sharing with younger kids and that they would be willing to intervene. They may even be willing to keep an ongoing dialog with you about how your kids interact with each other.

If you aren’t able to contact those families or if they are unresponsive to your concerns, consider talking with the school about their policies regarding media usage both in and out of the classroom. What is their policy about personal media on buses? In the hallway? How is it enforced? The conversation about any kind of in-school media use can be tricky, as many districts have signed contracts with companies that provide entertainment and education during and on the way to class. Channel One News, for example, delivers 12 minutes of news—and commercials—to about six million teens in 8,000 middle and high schools daily. Similarly, Bus Radio was a company that played commercial radio broadcasts on the way to school—until parent activists helped shut it down, furious that their children were being marketed to in such a captive, targeted way. If you’re not satisfied with your child’s school’s media policies as they apply to in-class or out-of-class media use, be vocal about it: As the Bus Radio scenario shows us, parents like you can advocate for kids’ media health and safety—and affect positive change.

Finally, and most importantly, don’t leave this issue to be regulated by the bus driver, the other riders, or the school. Make sure that your child, him or herself, is aware of technologies out there and conscious that there can be material on them that might disturb him (not just that “he shouldn’t see it”). Help your son learn to navigate exposure to media that makes him uncomfortable or confused—whether by talking about it with you, by not looking at what other children show him, or by sharing something else when presented with something he doesn’t want to see. Doing this now can empower him to make a lifetime of smart media decisions for himself.

Enjoy your media and use them wisely,
The Mediatrician® 

Are 3D video games safe for kids' vision?

From January 2 through February 16, the Mediatrician will be discussing families' concerns about media and kids at Parents.com. Here's a recent question and answer:

Q: I just read that Nintendo is warning that kids under age 6 not use their new 3D gaming system because it's harmful for their vision. Are there are any other vision worries we should know about? My grandmother always used to warn me not to sit too close to the TV. Was she right?
- ParentsDiane at Parents.com 

A: Funny, I heard “Don’t sit too close to the TV” as a kid, too! I also heard “Don’t read books in low light” and “Don’t cross your eyes, they might get stuck” with dire warnings about the long-term effects on my vision. Fortunately, none of these had any basis in fact (lucky for me…) And, at least based on current knowledge, neither does concern for the effects of using the new Nintendo 3DS gaming system on the eyesight of children under 6.

Pediatric ophthalmologists and neuroscientists, experts in the developing visual systems of children, from the eye to the brain, reassure us that there are no scientific findings to support the warnings issued by Nintendo about children gaming with their newest device.

The theoretical basis for Nintendo’s concern is that the developing visual systems of young children are very responsive to environmental conditions. If you cover a baby’s eye with a patch at critical times, that eye will become cortically blind – even though the eyeball is normal, the brain will not receive or synthesize the images it receives. Early childhood is the period when amblyopia, a condition where one eye functions less well than the other, must be treated or the weaker eye will become cortically blind. The stronger eye is covered with a patch, forcing the weaker eye to function, and it “catches up” so that the child has stereoscopic, or 3D, vision.   

3D screen technologies for movies, TV, or video games create the illusion of 3D by showing a different image to each eye, with varying success. The visual processing required for 3D is much greater than that for a traditional 2D screen image. Some viewers get headaches or nausea; for others, the illusion just does not work.  But so far, there is no solid evidence that 3D viewing by children causes any damage to their visual development. Dr. Lawrence Tychsen, a pediatric ophthalmologist at Washington University, studies the development of visual systems by having baby rhesus monkeys watch 3D screens for 3 months, and he sees no difference in their visual development and that of baby rhesus monkeys with no 3D exposure.

Unlike some consumer products companies, Nintendo may be erring on the conservative side by warning that children under 6 should not use their new gaming system, but isn’t that a refreshing change? There are some research-supported negative health effects of video gaming on children, from obesity to anxiety to social isolation, that may be lessened by this warning. Unsupported or not, if the warning gets some kids to put down their devices, get physically active, and create their own free play, is it such a bad thing?  

Enjoy your media and use them wisely,
The Mediatrician®

How can I tell which films are OK for my child?

Q: Are two year olds too young to see motion pictures? What about some of the Disney films, like Tangled? What should I consider when thinking about taking my kids to the movies?

- Movie-Curious Mom in Washington, DC

A: Dear Mom,

The answer to your question certainly depends in part on your child’s age, but it also depends on the movie you select and on your individual child. When deciding whether a child of any age should see a given movie, ask these questions: 

How will it be perceived by your child’s brain at their stage in development? 
We know that kids’ minds are works in progress: Nature determines which parts develop when, but it leaves room for that development to reflect the environments in which kids grow up. That means that everything children experience, from the games they play to the movies they see, becomes part of their growing understanding of how the world works and how they should behave in it. Particularly during the early years of life, when the brain is rapidly developing and refining new connections, all of these new experiences can actually affect the ways their brains are built—and, thus, the way they will work in the future. 

Also note that young children’s brains can’t distinguish between fantasy and reality the way that adults’ brains can—even if they say they understand that something is only make believe.

Is the content appropriate for your child?
If you’re choosing a specific movie for your child, take a look at the parent-friendly reviews at Common Sense Media. (Here's the one for Tangled.) Kids and adults see very different things watching the same movie, so try to look at the plot and action through the filter of your individual child’s mind. Although “scary” scenes may seem obviously fake to you, your child may respond differently—my own mother barely noticed how terrified I was watching my first movie, Disney’s Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs, at age 5. And research shows that, like Snow White, 100% of feature-length animated films created between 1939 and 2000 included scenes of violence, so the fact that it’s animated doesn’t necessarily mean that it will feel safe to your child. 

Part of the challenge for parents is that movies are made for (and marketed to) those who buy the tickets. Even in the case of kids’ movies, then, the target audience is really the grown-ups: Story lines and dialogue with more adult meaning are included so that parents can enjoy aspects of the movie that seem to “go over the kids’ heads.” As we are all guilty of believing that our children can handle material that’s too advanced for them, we may inadvertently—with the best of intentions—expose them to films that are inappropriate for their age or stage of development. So in choosing a movie, pay attention to your child and her reactions, not to the movie’s marketing.

Remember also that in your child’s eyes, the fact that you watch a movie means that you endorse it. That may encourage her to sit through it regardless of whether she finds it enjoyable, educational, or even comprehensible. Why? Because she takes her cues from you. If there’s something in the movie you’d like her to not take at face value, either don’t show it to her at all or call it out as unacceptable.

What will the sensory experience be like?
Young children are very sensory, so whether you watch a film on the couch at home or in an unfamiliar theater on the big screen with booming surround sound will dramatically change his experience of the film. (If it’s in 3-D, that adds another dimension of complexity.)

Who is your individual child?
In thinking through sharing any media with your child, try to imagine the whole experience, sensory and content-wise, through her mind. Will her attention span allow her to sit through a two-hour movie like Tangled? (If she’s two, probably not.) Has she ever been in a big, loud place like a movie theater for any length of time? How did she handle it?

If what you imagine her seeing, hearing, and understanding is what you want for her to experience, then take her and enjoy it together. But—and this goes for any media experience with a child of any age—if you notice that she seems frightened, confused, or bored while watching, offer her the opportunity to do something else. You want media to provide positive, lasting impressions about lessons learned and time spent with you: A lifetime of scary forest memories just isn’t worth it.

These related Q&As may offer some movie-choosing insight as well:

• What are some good kids’ movies for my 5 year old to enjoy?
• My daughter got scared by a movie, what should I do?
• How can I prevent my child from being upset by media content?

Enjoy your media and use them wisely,
The Mediatrician® 

 

 

How can I protect my child when she's learning to use email?

Q: I want to find an email service that allows my 11-year-old only to receive messages from a list of "approved" email addresses and one that forwards any email she receives from someone who is not on that list to my email account. Do you know of such a service? If not, which email service do you recommend for kids?
- Email-Anxious Dad in Los Altos, CA

A: Dear Dad,

Which email service you choose for your child really depends on what you’re looking for—there’s no single right answer for all situations. You can certainly find a provider based on the features you’ve outlined by doing a Web search for “email,” “child,” “protect,” etc. This article reviews a few, and there are many more that you can find for a fee or even for free. (Remember, though, that if email providers aren’t collecting money from you, they are likely selling ad space instead. It’s up to you to decide whether you’re comfortable with marketers targeting your child this way.)

That said, the heart of your question seems to focus on how to keep your child safe as she becomes a cyber-communicator. One of the challenges is that no techno-fix is perfect, so even if you find an email service you’re happy with, it’s important for your daughter to learn to take care of herself on email. To help with that, consider monitoring her as she learns how to use it. Think of the first few weeks as her having a Learner’s Permit: Sit next to your tween initially, laying foundation rules to keep her safe; then move to the backseat (i.e., be in the room and available for when she has questions). Like the road, digital correspondence can be navigated well when your child is educated but dangerous if she’s not. 

In addition to housing the computer in a shared space—to keep all activity clearly out in the open—also consider taking this four-part online safety course with your tween. Created in conjunction with our partners at iKeepSafe.org, it will emphasize what she should do if someone she doesn’t know tries to contact her or if she receives email that is confusing, even if it doesn’t seem bad or threatening. (Forwarding those emails to you is the best first step!)

Finally, Dad, recognize that email is a quickly aging technology for tweens today. Communication between kids—and from people who want to reach kids—is more regularly happening through instant messages and social networks like Facebook.  Your job is to stay on top of these rapidly changing communication methods and to keep an open, honest dialogue with your child about how (and how safely) she is using them.

Enjoy your media and use them wisely,
The Mediatrician®

How do I ensure that my wired kids are being responsible citizens offline?

Q: My kids are attached to their cell phones and laptops, and it worries me that they're not paying as much attention to the world happening around them—just the other day, I heard about how Bill Nye the Science Guy collapsed, and no one came to his aid because they were taking photos of him and tweeting about it! What can I do to ensure my children don’t end up like these onlookers?  
- World-Mindful Mom in Henderson, NV

A: Dear Mom,

Yours is an excellent example of how the way we use media can insulate us from each other and from experiences, rather than encourage us to share our common humanity. If that report is accurate, it sounds like the audience members may have lost awareness of the difference between the constructed, controlled domain of media and the reality in which we live. They also may have gotten caught in the phenomenon of diffusion of responsibility—that is, given that so many people were present, they may have all assumed that someone else would respond to the emergency. So instead of being the reason that they didn’t respond, media may have simply been where they engaged their attention instead.

But that, too, is something to address. And to paraphrase Shakespeare, the fault, dear Brutus, is not in our media, but in ourselves. Media devices are not inherently problematic, and they don’t necessarily separate us from each other: Consider TV programs that research shows can help kids learn to play well with others. Bill Nye himself used television in other positive ways, to explain concepts that could not have been shared as effectively using other means. Rather than lecturing about the lives of bats or how cells divide, for example, he used his program to show us and tell us about science in a fun, fascinating way. 

The best way to make better citizens of ourselves and our children, both on- and off-line, is to be sophisticated and effective users of the media tools that we have at our disposal. This means using—and teaching others to use—all kinds of media in mindful, focused ways: to learn, to connect with each other, to communicate, and to create, and then to turn media off when the tasks we set out to do are complete. Offline, it means being engaged in and ready to react to what happens around us: When someone collapses in front of them, for example, teach them what to do, whether it be to check whether they’re okay or to call 911. And talk with them about how even when there are many people around, they should still take the responsibility of doing something to help. 

Need convincing that new media tools really have been used to connect us in powerful ways? 

• Check out the videos being created for the Playing for Change project, which brings a mobile recording studio around the world to record music and promote peace.
• This viral video, taken over the holidays, is a example of how technology can be used to organize and orchestrate a shared cultural experience—not only for those who happened to be in a food court in Ontario, Canada, on one particular November afternoon, but for the millions who have since viewed it on YouTube: 
  
    

Enjoy your media and use them wisely,
The Mediatrician®