Ask the Mediatrician

Is an e-Reader appropriate for a 7-year old?

Q: I am the mother of a 7-year-old girl who is a voracious reader. I have been considering buying her a no-frills e-Reader that doesn’t have games, video, or other features, but just allows you to read books.  We are a minimal electronic media household--we don’t own a TV, and our girls (ages 4 and 7) rarely use electronic devices such as smartphones or tablets. The convenience of an e-Reader, however, has some appeal to me. I’m wondering if there is any research on the effects of screen reading on young children. As someone who has been very deliberate about keeping our home relatively electronic media free, I am conflicted…but my book shelves are awfully crowded! 

 ~ Anxious over e-Readers, USA

A: Dear Anxious,

To date, there is little direct research comparing reading books to reading e-Readers, but in basic ones that don’t have lit screens, the technology itself is remarkably similar to reading words on a printed page. (Research shows ones that do have lit screens, though, can contribute to the same kinds of sleep problems as TVs and computers.)

When e-Readers were first introduced to the public, I resisted the idea because I love the look, feel, and overall experience of reading paper books. However, once I started using an e-Reader, I quickly learned to appreciate it as a flexible and convenient tool for storing a large number of books in an easy-to-read, portable format. My 8-year-old son loves the e-Reader, too.

One lesson he helped me learn, though, is how easy it is to buy books on it. After finishing one book, he was so excited to continue reading that he ordered the rest of the series--placing a $60 order using the e-Reader store application. I was able to cancel the order, but now I only enable the store account when I am using it. That way, my kids can’t run up large bills or buy books that I don’t think they’re ready for.

If you do decide to buy your daughter an e-Reader: 1) Follow the instincts you already have and buy a basic one with an unlit screen and 2) Establish from the beginning how you will purchase books for it together, that way you can control both what she is exposed to and your wallet--and you can model critical thinking in book choice as well.  Then load it up with a book or two you think she’ll enjoy, and get reading! For more ideas on encouraging young readers, see these posts:

• Where can I find books for young advanced readers?
• How can I tell if an e-book is appropriate for my 10-year-old?

Enjoy your media and use them wisely,
The Mediatrician®

Making ‘friends’ with your children’s media—and how it can help you parent

The Mediatrician® contributed to the following post on A Platform for Good, the Family Online Safety Institute's resource page and blog.

Last winter, a father read an angry letter his 15-year-old daughter had posted on Facebook. In response, he put nine bullets into her laptop and posted the video online. Within weeks, it had garnered millions of hits and tens of thousands of comments.

Why so much attention? Certainly the shock value of his rage drew people’s attention. But he also verbalized some very common frustrations of parenting digital natives, and graphically played out a response to the powerlessness that parents often feel. Communicating feelings and finding ways to feel empowered are both important processes--but parents need ways to do so that support children’s healthy development, rather than terrifying and humiliating them.

Parents need a new way to relate to their children’s use of technology. They need information and skills that can help them see, understand, and feel welcomed to engage with the positive capabilities of these powerful tools. Here are some research-based ways to develop a friendly relationship with your children’s media use, teach your children to avoid possible pitfalls, and even use media to help you parent. Continue reading here.

Where can I find books for young advanced readers?

Q: My 8-year-old son is a precocious reader, and I am having a hard time finding books that are both age-appropriate and challenging enough to keep him engaged. I worry that the books at his reading level are too violent or contain other content that he’s not ready for. Where can I find books (lots of them!) for avid young readers?  -  Baffled by Books in Brookline, MA

 A: Dear Baffled,

Many parents of advanced readers face this challenge—more intellectually challenging books often contain more mature content. And because children don’t yet have much life experience to compare stories to, whatever they read will influence their beliefs about the world. For example, stories that include violence may make violence seem more normal, creating an increased tolerance for aggression in real life. The problem is particularly tricky for those (including many boys) who are drawn to adventure, sci-fi, fantasy, and other genres that often contain more such content.

Fortunately, there are some great free resources that can help you choose books that will appeal to your ravenous reader—and send messages you’d like him to receive:

• Books That Guys Read: A list of books recommended by teachers, librarians, parents, and publishers specifically geared towards young male readers.
• Early Expert Readers: Short description of what makes a child an ‘early expert reader’ and gives a brief list of books that are developmentally appropriate for advanced young readers.
• Books for Early Readers: Short list of elementary school librarian recommended books for young readers (printer-friendly).
• Parent’s Choice: Books reviewed by the Parent’s Choice expert panel and categorized by genre and reader age.
• A Mighty Girl: A list of books (and movies) that are female-centric and organized by genre, reader age, and even price.
• Public Libraries: librarians can often recommend great books for children based on their reading level and interest. Libraries also provide you with a nearly unlimited selection of books so you won’t go broke buying them!

Once you’ve selected a book (or several!), share them with your son—or if he’s reluctant to take direct suggestions, leave them lying around the house so he can discover them for himself. And if there’s a book he really wants to read that concerns you, evaluate it for yourself or even join him in reading it. When my son first picked up Harry Potter at age 6, for example, my wife read it along with him so they could talk about it and work through any of the questionable content.

Also remember to share developmentally suitable books that you love—that can be a great way nurture your relationship and quench his thirst for a good read.

Enjoy your media and use them wisely,
The Mediatrician®

How can I tell if an e-book is appropriate for my 10-year-old?

Q: With the purchase of a couple of e-book tablets for our home, how can we know if the books our 10-year-old triplets will be reading on them are age appropriate? My daughter read a book she heard about in her 4^th grade class during a book report, and it ended up having significant sexual content and very questionable language. If it were a movie, it would have been rated R!
—Troubled Tablet times 3, Kinnelon, NJ

 A: Dear Troubled Tablet times 3,

It can be a difficult task trying to figure out if a book is developmentally suitable for your child. The old adage “you can’t judge a book by its cover” still holds true, even in the age of e-books. Fortunately, there are several ways to make an informed decision about whether it will be a healthy read for your child. If there is a particular book your daughter is interested in reading, like the one she heard about in her book report, review the content in one of these ways:

• Read the book yourself. As a parent, you know your child better than almost anyone else. If you are able to read the book before she does, you can see whether its content is optimal for her and can direct her to other books if you decide it isn’t.
• Sample the story. Even though one small section of the book may not accurately reflect the whole story, a chapter or two can give you a taste of the book’s content (and its level of difficulty). You can go to a library or bookstore, or you can preview chapter or two for free wherever you buy e-books.
• Start a book club. By reading and discussing the book with your daughter—and possibly with other mother/daughter pairs—you can help her process the content and her feelings about it. That may allow her to engage in more challenging material in a supportive environment.
• Check out an expert resource. Since you won’t be able to read everything that your child wants to read, look for reviews from resources you trust (try this one or this one).

When you do find books that meet your daughter’s needs, be sure to share them with others—in your book club, at your child’s school, or even by adding them to a trusted resource list.

Enjoy your media and use them wisely,
The Mediatrician®

Is The Hunger Games movie too scary for younger fans of the book?

CMCH staff contributed to the following post on Thriving, Children's Hospital Boston's pediatric health blog, about the movie The Hunger Games. The post is written by Thriving blogger Tripp Underwood.

The movie The Hunger Games opens today, and record tickets sales are expected to make the grisly, post-apocalyptic, survival tale one of the spring’s biggest blockbusters. Like the Harry Potter and Twilight series before it, The Hunger Games film is based on a book written for young adults that has captured the imaginations of readers of all ages.

Considering the ultraviolent nature of The Hunger Games’ plot line—24 teenage protagonists are pitted against each other in a fight to the death—is all this hype a good thing for young, would-be fans? The intended age for young adult novels is 12 to 17, but the books’ popularity has piqued the interest of much younger readers. Not wanting to sully their younger children’s budding interest in reading, many parents across the country have allowed them to read the story.

But just because your child has read The Hunger Game books, does that mean she’s ready to watch it’s bloody action unfold on the big screen? The answer will vary from child to child, but it’s a question parents of younger Hunger Game fans need to ask.

“[Reading about violence] is a gut experience as opposed to a head experience,’’ said Michael Rich, MD, MPH, director of Children’s Hospital Boston’s Center on Media and Child Health, in a recent Boston Globe story. “A movie is very direct. You are seeing it, you are hearing it, as compared with translating it from black ink on a page into something in your own mind.’’ Continue reading here.

Do you have any last-minute tips for holiday shopping?

Q: I'm doing last-minute holiday shopping, and I still don't know what to give! How do I know what to choose for the children in my life? The choices are overwhelming!
-Holiday harried, in Medford, MA

A: Dear Holiday harried,

Never fear! Even as time grows short, you still have time to take a breath and think about what to give the children on your list this holiday season--whether you're giving media or non-media gifts. No matter what you choose, remember to keep the CHILD first:

• Creativity: Think creatively about who the child is & customize your gift.
• Homework: Do your homework to make sure the gift matches the child.
• Imagination: Stimulate their imagination with gifts they can use creatively.
• Learning: Encourage learning with gifts that peak their curiosity.
• Donate: Teach about giving by helping a child make a donation.

Take a look at our media shopping gift guide if you're considering giving media gifts. If you're looking for non-media gifts, check out our non-media gift ideas. And remember, some of the most meaningful gifts are free.

Enjoy your media and use them wisely,
The Mediatrician® 

The Mediatrician’s New Year’s Resolutions for 2011

Q: This year, I want to start making some better choices about media so I can better connect with my family. I usually hate resolutions—because who ever keeps them, really?—but am wondering what I might consider when deciding what and how to change.
- Determined for 2011 in Eden Prairie, MN

A: Dear Determined,

I’m with you. I don’t usually make New Year’s resolutions—they’re often idealistic and unrealistic and, thus, abandoned by mid-January. But this year, to create some that I could live with, I decided that my resolutions should adhere to three basic criteria: 

1) They cost basically nothing, so that there’s no financial barrier to achieving them.

2) They are worth keeping for their own sake, and because the process of keeping them is worthwhile. Perfection is not the goal—tweaking your family’s media use and enjoy the resulting time together is.

3) They’re fun!

The following are resolutions that I can and will try to follow throughout the year, and I welcome you to join me: 

Share media you love with your kids
What movies, songs, and books did you love at your child’s age? Share and talk about them with your kids. Then ask your kids to share their favorite media with you. Whether they teach you to play a video game or make a Facebook page, they’ll love getting to show their mastery, and you’ll get a window into their media worlds. Enjoying these shared experiences is also a fun way to bring media use into the realm of positive (as opposed to policing) parenting.

Make mindful choices
How many times do you find yourself or your kids turning on the TV, computer, or video game console out of habit? Or because you or they can’t think of anything else to do? As a New Year’s Resolution, transform media use into a purposeful choice. Watch a certain show or play a certain game, and then switch to another activity you enjoy. This will help your family use technology as the powerful tool it can be for learning, connecting, and entertaining rather than simply as a diversion.

Move screens into common rooms
When media use is confined to a shared space, it becomes a social rather than a solo act and must compete with the other demands of family life. This makes it easier to engage with media only when there is a focused reason to do so. It also gives parents greater access to what children are doing with media, and it gives children a way to understand (and accept) their parents’ responsibilities in overseeing their media use.

Create media together
Shoot video of your family, edit it, upload it to YouTube, and share the link with friends and family. Or build a website or blog about a favorite cause. Such activities emphasize that kids can not only receive but also create media. They also model how media can be used in public dialogue and true participatory democracy—concepts that kids may not understand now but can learn about over time. Instead of worrying that media are making us less individually and socially responsible, model ways in which media can make us more involved in life, each other, and our society.

Upgrade your interactions with others
Social media can be a wonderful addition to the host of ways you connect with people who live far away or with whom you’ve lost touch. They can help you locate folks and provide a way to connect as frequently as you’d like at your convenience (e.g., if you’re around the world from each other, you can be in regular communication despite the time difference). However, if communication with a given person remains exclusively virtual, you miss out on nuance and warmth that a voice provides. To regain some of these other aspects of human connection between in-person visits (or when visiting isn’t feasible), call a faraway friend on the phone. Or use email or texting as ways of arranging in-person gatherings. In this way, media can serve as tools for developing and nurturing true relationships. 

Share media-free family meals
Research shows that sitting down and sharing food protects kids against becoming overweight, as well as from a host of health risk behaviors, from anxiety and depression to early sexual activity to violence. The mealtime opportunity to share experiences and thoughts with those you love and trust is powerful prevention. But remember to keep the tube off: Having the TV on during that meal distracts you from each other and from your body’s signals of hunger and satiety, thus neutralizing the potential positive effects

Touch nature and let it touch you
Research shows that spending time with nature reduces anxiety, improves attention deficits, and contributes to free play and imagination. So turn off the TV, computer, and video games and take a family walk. Or grow a plant from a seed, and let everyone get dirt under their fingernails. Just be together, outside and unwired.

Unplug to bring back daydreaming
We parents so often focus on giving our children the best advantages we can: schools, lessons, sports, and media, all intended to help them learn and expand their minds. But no directed activity can take the place of daydreaming, free play, and even boredom, which is when we can let our thoughts wander and then be regrouped in new and unexpected configurations. This is when kids engage their creativity, develop a sense of self, and learn to reflect on what is important to them. All the knowledge in the world cannot compare with the ability to think deeply about it, and then imagine and create something better. Let’s give kids this crucial space.

Enjoy your media and use them wisely—and happy new year!
The Mediatrician®

Is the Kindle OK for tweens?

Q: Our soon-to-be 12 year old (born on Christmas Eve) loves to read and dearly wants a Kindle. He does NOT have a cell phone, iPad etc.; he does have a MacBook Pro at home with limited and tightly controlled use. Since we are so strict with other electronics, we were hoping to get him something that was "techie" but safe. Please advise us!
- Tech-Skeptic Mom in Boise, ID

A: Dear Mom,

E-readers can be wonderful for tweens and kids of all ages (though pre-readers and early readers require colorful images and so devices with full-color screens—or physical books—are preferable for them over the more available black-and-white screens). I bought a first-generation e-reader myself, admittedly with more than a little trepidation: I love books, not only for what can be found inside them, but for the feeling and even smell of them. But I was very quickly won over by how much reading on one of these devices is like reading a book. And it lets readers do many things books can’t: bookmark and annotate without marring pages, change the font size for easier reading, and, most importantly, store hundreds of books, magazines, and newspapers on a device that it lighter than a typical paperback. Especially when I travel, I carry my e-reader—this may be ideal for your son, as well.

It sounds like your concern is that giving him this device will be adding another form of screen media to your child’s life. But whereas videos in any form (on a TV, computer, or tablet screen) invite the viewer into the video maker’s pre-created world, which is less demanding, imaginative, and personal than engaging with books, e-books are still books—even though they’re presented on screen. Just as with ink and paper books, e-readers let the author’s words be transformed through the reader’s individual imaginations, life experiences, and aspirations into a shared vision. 

If you do get your son an e-reader, my only cautionary advice would be to set parameters around how frequently he can buy books: The process is almost too easy, as all he needs to do is switch the e-reader on, wirelessly choose among thousands of titles, and have them instantly downloaded to his device. Also, why not consider getting an e-reader for yourself, sharing books with your son, and discussing them over dinner together? Whatever media interest your son, they are best used in a focused way, with additional time allowed for outdoor physical activity, family, homework, and sleep.

Enjoy your media and use them wisely,
The Mediatrician®

Do you have any tips on good gifts for kids?

Q: Help! I’m shopping for kids of all ages this year for the holidays, and don’t know where to begin. What are your thoughts about the kinds of toys that are good for kids?
- Wrapped Up in Gifts in Ames, IA

 

A: Dear Wrapped Up,

Become your gift recipients’ holiday hero by keeping this word in mind: CHILD.

Creative: Think creatively about who the child is and what makes him or her truly happy. 

Homework: Do your homework on the nature, content, and age-appropriateness of gifts, especially media products, before buying.

Imagination: Provide a child’s growing mind with gifts to stimulate her imagination, creative growth, and development.

Learning: Look for gifts that encourage problem-solving, creativity, and positive social interaction.

Donate: Give the gift of giving.

(Read all of our tips on choosing great holiday gifts!)

Did the kids in your life provide wishlists? Check out our recent science-based advice on the following toys, games, and media. 

Does your recipient want…

A cell phone?

• Should I give my 11 year old the cell phone she's asking for?
• How much texting is too much?
• Do cell phones affect kids’ sleep?
  More cell phone Q&As >>

Video games?

• How does Call of Duty impact teen boys?
• My whole family enjoys Guitar Hero, but I’m concerned about the lyrics!
• Which computer games are good for my 2 year old?
  More video game Q&As >> 

Questionable toys?

• My kids are asking for toy weapons; what should I do?
• How can I ask my family to forgo character toys?
• Are American Girl dolls a better choice for my niece than the more sexualized Barbies or Bratz?
  More toy Q&As related to gender and violence >>

Laptops, MP3 players, etc?

• Should I encourage my preschooler to use the computer?
• Are kids benefiting from all these electronics?
• Is there anything wrong with cutting out electronic media completely?
  More computers & electronics Q&As >>

Books or magazines?

• Are audiobooks a good use of kids' time?
• Could vampire fiction be contributing to my daughter's anxiety?
• Do models in ads affect how girls feel about their own bodies?
  More book & magazine Q&As >> 

Movies or videos?

• Which kids’ movies will my 5 year old enjoy?
• What goes on in the brain during a 3D film?
• Can toddlers learn sign language by watching DVDs?
  More TV, movie, & video Q&As >>

New tunes?

• Help! We don’t approve of the music our child wants to listen to!
• Does playing the blues cause the blues?
• How should I explain that my kid’s favorite pop star is having emotional issues?
  More music Q&As >>

Enjoy your media and use them wisely,
The Mediatrician® 

Is my daughter's Halloween costume too sexy?

Q: My pre-teen daughter is dying to go as a sexy vampire for Halloween (she's a big Twilight fan) but I just don't feel comfortable with her running around the neighborhood in a short skirt, tight top, and lots of makeup, costume or not. What can I say to her without making this such a big deal?
-Bella’s Nemesis in Belchertown, MA

A: Dear Nemesis,

Halloween is a day to have fun being someone different—but that certainly has consequences, so it should also come with limits. There’s a reason that every October, little boys want to be Superman or star troopers: It shows their aspirations for being mature and powerful. When teens (or adults for that matter) choose costumes that emphasize their sexuality, they are publicizing their desire to be noticed for their bodies. 

So it doesn’t necessarily matter how she dresses or who she presents herself as during the rest of the year: Going out in this costume tells the world something about her.

It’s likely you’ll get “But it’s just a book, Mom. She’s just a character.” You can respond by talking with her seriously: What is it about this costume that she likes? Does she realize how people will respond to her in it, and if so, is that what she’s looking for?  Be frank: Is she ready to be sexually objectified? Will she be uncomfortable in this costume in front of her peers, older teens, or even people her dad’s age?

Frame your conversation around the ideas of self-awareness and self-respect, and focus on how your daughter wants to be viewed as a whole person. Who knows, maybe there are creative ways you can modify the costume that would allow her to express her love for Twilight but in a less objectifying way. Hopefully, she’ll see the long-term effects of this decision in the larger scheme of choices she needs to make about how she is seen by others—and see you as someone helping her become the person she wants to be.

Enjoy your media and use them wisely,
The Mediatrician®